Jets

Rori, April 22, 2013

I arched my back and struggled to stop myself from crying out. The neighbors could be watching.
An hour earlier, I was sinking into my new hot tub for the first time since Cash left. I had a book. I had my huge glass of red wine wine. Life was good, despite missing him.
The hot tub was a major selling point for our new house. I’m not a huge water lover myself, but even I had to concede that it would be really nice to turn on the bubbles and relax after a long week at work. And that’s just what I intended to do. It was a lazy Sunday, and I wanted to really take this baby for a spin.
I tried out all of the seats and finally settled into the one corner that swooped down lower than the rest, allowing you to prop your feet and really lounge in the softly churning water. After a few chapters, I set the book down on the bench outside of the tub, closed my eyes, and leaned my head back. The jets felt perfect on my lower back and legs and the wine had made my head feel wonderfully loopy.
And then my pony tail hit the button that flipped the jets from low and lazy to fast and furious. I jumped, startled at the unexpected bubbles, but then giggled and sank back into my seat.
Except with the jets on high, the one leg massager wasn’t just hitting my leg anymore. I reached down. Did it…? Yes, why yes, I could slightly adjust the rouge jet to position it directly at my pussy.
It was dusk. The neighbors could look down into my backyard from their houses, but they probably weren’t. At least, that’s what I told myself. And even so, who’s to say what was happening under the agitated, swirling water?
I repositioned my hips a bit and moved my bathing suit to one side. The water splashed against my clit and my nipples were instantly hard. Thinking of Cash, I closed my eyes. If Cash was there, what would he do?
He’d force me to hold my clit against the jet. He’d tell me to keep quiet. Shhh, Rori, the neighbors will hear how big of a slut you are. You like that, don’t you? You’re like a bitch in heat. You want me to fuck you, don’t you?
But he wouldn’t fuck me. He’d plunge a finger in my tight pussy and let the jets do their job. You’re my slut and I want you to come. Do you hear me? This pussy is mine to finger-fuck. Keep your clit on the jet. Don’t fucking move. Show me how quite you can be. Show me how hard you can come without screaming.
The jets were starting to get intense. My orgasm was building, and I didn’t know if I could find that release with such direct stimulation to my clit. Oh god, oh fuck, I breathed, trying to control myself and keep my clit against the jet like Daddy would make me.
He’d hold down my hips when I’d try to squirm away. Cum for me, slut, cum for me, he’d growl into my ear, and I’d cum, over and over again, my body convulsing in the hot tub.
I came and I imagined it, with the jets loving my clit. It was so intense, I had to back away, and I turned the water back down to low, catching my breath in the chilling air as the last shivers ran through me.
Leaving on a jet plane has a whole new meaning for me. I think I’m going to like living here…

Self-bondage

My first real attempt at self-bondage.

 

by Foxy 200913

Everything went great! Almost everything. The night before I tied a string to one of my handcuff keys and placed in an ice tray so I could freeze it in a cub of ice. The only problem was it melted way to fast. It only seemed like five minutes and the keys was free. Other then that I enjoyed it. Especially before the ice melted and I was actually suck. Next time I need to find a way to freeze it in something bigger. But anyhow.. Sorry I'm not real good with writing so I may jump around a bit. lol

Anyhow ... I set a chair in the center of my living room. I was suggested I use one with arms. But none of our dining chairs have them. But I was still able to use one just had to change my hands from being in front of me to behind.

First off I removed all my clothes and grabbed the keys, cuffs and chair. I didn't have any rope handy so I used the waist ties from my bath robe. I used it to tie my feet to the legs of the chair after I set down. I the tied the opposite end of the string that was attached to the frozen key around my wrist. Which was already beginning to melt. I put my arms behind me and between the slats in the back of the chair and cuffed them. I totally loved it.

It wasn't perfect. If I tried hard enough I probably could have wiggled my feet free. My arms weren't going anywhere unless I broke the back of the chair which is actually pretty sturdy. Not to mention I was there but a few minutes when I checked the key and noticed the ice had already melted off. I think I can fix some things before next time.

The first few seconds after putting on the cuffs was insanely wonderful. That was before I test things and realized just how easy it was. My heart was pounding and I felt a rush. The thought of being suck there bound and helpless got me extremely aroused.

Even after realizing that it was possible to get out if I want I still enjoyed the fantasy of being bound. After the ice melted I was disappointed but set there for at least an hour or more just pretending. Was as much of a rush as believe you're actually helpless. But was still rather enjoyable.

The whole time I set there imaging I was surround by people poking and touching me. I closed my eyes for a while pretending I was wearing a blindfold. I even imagined that some one came to break in to realize I had left the door unlocked for my friend incase I did get stuck and took me instead. I even picture my friend showing up to find me helpless and using me as her slave. Inviting people over and forcing me to serve them as well. I actually feel a little ashamed of that one. She's like a sister to me. We're closer then I ever been to my real sisters.

I set there as long as I could until my butt went numb and I was so sexually frustrated I couldn't wait and had to do something about it. Just wish I could figure out how to satisfy that need while having my hands bound behind me.lol It was one of the best orgasms I've had in a while. I'm definitely doing this again.

Best part is my friend didn't know anything. I was even able to get some sleep before she got here. And what's even weirder is I had trouble looking her in the eyes at breakfast. I was like I was embarrassed and ashamed knowing I had other intentions for her. What makes it strange and a little confusing is the quilt was kind of a turn on.

 

Alfred Hitchcock Presents:
The DSM-5

Eugene Epstein

September 13, 2013
 

“Oh, that’s a MacGuffin.”

“What’s a MacGuffin?”

“It’s an apparatus for trapping lions in the Scottish Highlands.”

“But there are no lions in the Scottish Highlands.”

… So you see, a McGuffin is nothing at all.

- Alfred Hitchcock, explaining the “MacGuffin”

 

What does the new DSM-5 have in common with an Alfred Hitchcock mystery?  They both rely on a plot device, something Hitchcock called a “MacGuffin”, for their narrative power.  At least that is the story that my German colleagues Manfred Wiesner, Lothar Duda and I like to tell.
One assumption that the three of us have in common is that we believe our realities to be socially constructed, in relationships, through the stories that we tell.  This assumption has tremendous implications on the ways we think and act, and especially upon how we think and act as psychotherapists.  Adopting this perspective means giving up on the idea of universal “Truth” with a capital T, instead seeing truths as nothing more than temporary social and cultural agreements or stories, subject to change along with changing relationships and circumstances.
In his wonderfully creative novel The Life of Pi, Yann Martell illustrates this idea by describing the encounter between two Japanese insurance investigators trying to research the “truth” around the circumstances of a shipwreck, and the lone survivor of that shipwreck, through the following dialogue:

Mr. Okamoto:  “But for the purposes of our investigation, we would like to know what really happened.”
Pi:  ”What really happened?”
Mr. Okamoto:  “Yes.”
Pi:  ”So you want another story?”
Mr. Okamoto:  “Uhh… no. We would like to know what really happened.”
Pi:  ”Does the telling of something always become a story?”
Mr. Okamoto:  “Uhh… perhaps in English. In Japanese a story would have an element of invention in it. We don’t want any invention. We want the ‘straight facts’, as you say in English.”
Pi:  ”Isn’t telling about something—using words, English or Japanese—already something of an invention? Isn’t just looking upon this world already something of an invention?”
Mr. Okamoto:  “Uhh… ”
Pi:  ”The world isn’t just the way it is. It is how we understand it, no? And in understanding something, we bring something to it, no? Doesn’t that make life a story?”

If we give up our belief in (and call into question) a received truth — like the dominant mainstream biological explanations for human suffering, for instance — then we begin to create space for pondering new questions.  Instead of busying ourselves with how to change biologically and mentally “diseased” minds into more healthy minds, for instance, we instead confront more philosophical and political questions.  Like; how shall we continue to live together?  Or, what stories allow us to think/live/feel/relate etc. in the ways in which we would prefer to think/live/feel/relate etc.?
These are extremely important, though very complicated philosophical and political issues.  They touch upon the very core of our existence and values as human beings.  Whose story gets told in a psychotherapy session, and using whose language?  For which purposes do we advance particular narratives? Whose stories get negated?  And who decides which stories and purposes should be preferred?
Along these lines of thinking, we view the DSM-5 as but one of many possible stories that may be told with respect to human suffering.  Who and how was this narrative developed?  Who benefits?  What is gained and what is lost with the adoption of this “new” version of psychiatric “reality”?
To explore these questions we borrow a concept that the late, great film director Alfred Hitchcock described in an interview with Francois Truffaut.  Hitchcock described the “MacGuffin” as a common plot device typically woven into film scripts.  For Hitchcock, a MacGuffin was a certain kind of object, one which although largely irrelevant in and of itself, was at the same time essential to the film plot.  These MacGuffins, according to Hitchcock, were on the one hand “ridiculous”, “non-existent”, “empty”, and inherently without meaning, and yet, at the same time, the central point around which the entire story turned.
Should we begin to view DSM diagnoses as MacGuffins instead of discovered (neurobiological?) truths about the individual, they might begin to lose their superstitious power over our society.  Following the MacGuffin idea, questions arise about which narratives and characters are served by the diagnosis MacGuffin (like the pharmaceutical industry and mainstream professional psychiatry), and about whether there are other, perhaps more socially desirable alternatives to replace this particular plot vehicle?  And perhaps, more importantly, who gets to author narratives of self and who decides which narratives are to be considered preferable?  What new spaces and possibilities might we create for dealing with social, political and ethical questions, if we were to begin to develop other post-therapeutic vocabularies and discourses?
These are among the issues that are discussed in the current special issue of the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Family Therapy that was recently released as open access, in synch with the release of the new DSM 5.  From their beginnings in the post war 1950’s, the family and systemic psychotherapies have a long history of developing alternatives to mainstream medical and psychological theories, theories that challenged the individualizing, de-politizing and pathologizing  tendencies of the dominant medical, behavioral and psychoanalytic models.  And although the charge to achieve acceptance in the form of insurance billing rights has largely shifted the field’s emphasis away from critique and towards adaption and adjustment with the dominant medical model, the editors of this journal, Tom Strong and Robbie Busch, in gathering together this array of diverse perspectives, show that there is some critical spirit still alive and kicking within the field.  This collection of articles offers readers an alternative and constructive range of experiences, perspectives, opinions and practical approaches in the conversation between family therapy and the DSM-5.

———————————–

 

For a more comprehensive examination of the diagnosis MacGuffin as well as a call for new visions that move us beyond the therapeutic state, you are welcome to read the following article that we published here at MIA.
A conference touching upon many of these issues, “Beyond the Therapeutic State:  Collaborative Practices for Individual and Social Change,” will be held in June of 2014.

Domination for Nice Guys

So you're a nice guy. You think that people should be treated with respect and courtesy; you find violence, particularly violence against women, reprehensible; you would never, under any circumstances, raise your hand in anger against someone you love. And now your partner is asking you to tie her up, or call her names, or spank her, or maybe even "rape" her. All this goes against everything you believe. What do you do?
For starters, it's not what you think.

The first thing to do is to understand, deep down inside, that it's possible to do these things and still be a good person. While some of these things may superficially resemble abuse, there's an important difference; unlike an abuser, you are doing these things because you both enjoy them, and you're doing them in a way that is safe, consensual, and respectful of her limits and desires.
One way to think about it is that you're playing a role. A person who plays a villain on TV is not actually a villain; and if you and your partner play out roles for your mutual enjoyment, it doesn't mean you're being abusive. You and your partner can play out roles in which you are harsh and demanding and she is your sex slave, and this does not mean that you actually believe women should be subordinate to men.

But I was always taught to treat women with respect!

There is nothing wrong or disrespectful about treating people the way they want to be treated.
Even if the way they want to be treated is not what you're accustomed to.
Not everyone has the same desires, wants, or needs. Treating your partner with respect means treating your partner the way she wants to be treated--even if that means she wants you to treat her like a dirty little minx sometimes. Seriously--if your partner is approaching you with the idea of exploring BDSM, then most likely, there is some part of her which responds very strongly to filling that role.
There is not one "right" way to behave that applies to all people all the time. If something adds pleasure to your life and to your partner's life, then it's not a bad thing, even if it is unconventional. And there's certainly no crime in taking pleasure from bringing your partner pleasure!
There is no rule which says that nice guys can't be adventurous. No law says that nice guys never fuck their girlfriends in the ass or tell their girlfriends to strip and masturbate in front of them. It's about learning what you like, learning what she likes, and creating a scene that brings you both pleasure; being a nice guy means being willing to explore avenues that bring joy to your partner's life!

What kind of guy enjoys doing these things?

The kind of guy who enjoys exploring with his partner and pleasing his partner, of course!
More than that, though; by exploring your fantasies and your partner's fantasies, you create a deep intimacy that's hard to beat. This kind of exploration, and sharing of fantasies and sexual feelings, helps form a bond of intimacy and trust that's at once more romantic and more passionate than you may believe.
And the pleasure to be gained simply from seeing your partner eager to service you and submit to your desires shouldn't be discounted, either...
To do this, though, you may need to unlearn some things about what "nice guys" do and feel. "Nice guy syndrome" can sometimes prevent you from being able to really focus on your partner, and see what she wants; you may see social proconceptions of who "women are" or what "women want" instead. Women are individuals; focus on what the woman you're with wants rather than what "women want."
In extreme cases, "nice guy syndrome" can make you feel uncomfortable seeing your partner as a sexual being at all. But human beings are sexual beings, and it's hard to imagine anyone who doesn't want to be seen as sexually attractive by her mate; seeing your partner in a sexual light is not only healthy, it's an important part of any sexual relationship!

I don't even know where to begin with this stuff...

As with most things, you begin simply. Sex in general and BDSM in particular are learned skills; like all learned skills, you learn by doing. Start slow, learn what you and your partner like and don't like, and elaborate on the things you learn as you go along.
The best way to get started exploring BDSM is by talking to your partner. Discuss your fantasies and her fantasies; don't worry about whether or not those fantasies are things you would really explore or not, or even if they're things that are plausible or feasible. You're just talking about the things that turn you on, no matter how outlandish or how kinky they may be. Don't be timid, embarrassed, or ashamed, even of fantasies that seem extreme or frightening; these are fantasies, after all, not reality. Even extreme fantasies that you would never consider doing in real life can provide ideas or suggestions about places to explore, or things that turn you on!
Let's say, for example, that your partner has fantasies about being tied up and molested. You can start to explore by trying some light bondage or restraint; no need to go all-out, just start by holding her down or tying her arms with ordinary rope. If things go well, you may discover that you want to go farther next time, or you may come up with new ideas to try. And who knows? You may just find that it really turns you on...
At this point, it's probably worthwhile to discuss a few general guidelines as you start exploring this stuff. Some things to remember:
- Don't feel that you have to try everything all at once. Don't do too much, too fast. You have plenty of time! You're exploring what turns you on, what turns your partner on, and what you can create together; it's far better to end a scene thinking you could have gone farther than ending a scene thinking you've gone too far!
- Talk to your partner after you're done, espeically when you've tried something new. Spend some time talking about how you felt, how she felt, what turned you on, and what things you might want to explore later. Remember, whenever you try anything new, you will sometimes find things that you or your partner respond to in ways you didn't expect. You may even find that something you thought you'd like, or something she thought she'd like, triggers a negative reaction that you didn't anticipate. There's nothing wrong with that; you're exploring. By definition, when you explore, you don't always know what you'll find! If you discover something that you don't like, or that didn't go the way you expected, it's okay; you've learned from it, and now you have greater knowledge about how to please yourself and your partner.
- There's nothing wrong with taking pleasure from dominating your partner. If you find that you respond to taking charge in the bedroom, and your partner responds to being dominated, great! You're both happy; enjoy yourselves! Besides, it's much more fun to submit to a person who enjoys being dominant. It works both ways; you can take pleasure from pleasing your partner, and she can take pleasure from pleasing you.
- The greatest asset you have is a sense of self-confidence. It doesn't matter if you don't think you know what you're doing, or if things don't always go the way you wanted them to; it doesn't matter if you're uncertain about something you're trying. All this is normal. What does matter is that you project an air of confidence and control; just this alone can get you through a number of problems. You forget something? Something not working right? Smile and keep going anyway; chances are, she'll never even notice. Remember, you're playing a role; project confidence even if you don't feel it, and you'll do okay.
- Keep your eyes open and your common sense sharp. The best single safety tool you have is your common sense. Watch for problems; don't leave someone tied up unattended, don't try devices or gadgets on your partner if you don't have a sense of how they feel yourself.

But she wants me to spank her! I don't want to hurt her!

Ah, that's a bit tricky. Things are not always what they seem; there's a big difference between erotic pain and ordinary, garden-variety pain. The experience of pain in an erotic context, for someone who's wired that way, is nothing like what you may imagine; it's an incredible rush, that adds a powerful spice to sexual pleasure. Think of it like spice in chili; you might not like taking a bite out of a hot pepper, but in the right amount, it makes the chili a whole lot better...
Even things that look extreme, such as flogging or whipping, can be deceptive. These things don't feel like you imagine they do, and in the right environment with the right warmup, they're wonderful. And once your partner's endorphins, the natural painkilling chemicals produced in the brain, get going, it's the most intense, delightful high you can ever believe.
Of course, pain play is something you want to explore slowly. You don't jump right into it; it takes time and practice to learn where your partner's limits are, and how your partner responds to things like spanking. But don't be so afraid of anything that looks painful--your partner is less fragile than you might think, and in the right setting, pain is both a powerful aphrodesiac and a tremendously pleasureable high. Pay attention, go slow, and you're not going to hurt her. As with many aspects of BDSM, pain is not always what it seems...
If you are worried about hurting your partner for real in a not-fun kind of way, it's easy with a little practice to calm that fear. It's really just question of paying close attention to your partner, noticing the way that she responds, and keeping communication open. When you start out, ask for feedback. Pay attention to what you're doing, and pay attention to how she responds. As you get to know what your partner likes, you'll find that you learn to gauge what you're doing and you learn how much is too much, and how much is "just right."
You can get a bit of my own perspective on pain play, if you'd like, here.

She wants me to boss her around! Men aren't supposed to do that to women.

Men aren't supposed to do that to women non-consensually. Men aren't supposed to assume that they can automatically tell women what to do and expect women to hop to it; that's chauvanistic.
It's not the same, though, when your partner wants you to tell her what to do. In the context of a mutual D/s relationship, it's not chauvanism; it's something you both do because it's fun and enjoyable for both of you.
Sometimes, it's a lot of fun to have your partner say "Okay, I want you to strip and lie down with your legs spread," or whatever. It's fun to surrender to your partner and let your partner call the shots, as long as you both understand that you're doing it because it's a fun way to mix things up in the bedroom rather than because it's something that all women should always do for all men. Remember, if you were to start bossing around every woman you meet, that would be disrespectful; not all women want to be bossed around, after all. But if your partner wants you to boss her around because it's fun, then thre's nothing disrespectful about it; respect is in asking people what they want, and then doing the things that bring them pleasure and bring you closer together.
Whenever you let ideas about what men are "supposed" to do, you run into trouble. The problem with thinking that men are "supposed" to not be in control is the same as the problem with thinking that men are "supposed" to always be in control--it ignores that different women have different tastes and different desires. If there's anything that men and women are truly "supposed" to do, I think it's this: Men and women are supposed to recognize that not everyone is the same, and work together to recognize those differences and make sure that everyone has an opportunity to be happy.

What if she wants me to call her names and humiliate her? That's not respectful!

Humiliation play, like pain play, is another of those things that's not what it looks like from the outside. In a sense, it's the emotional equivalent of pain play; and like pain play, it's all about context. In the right setting, under the right circumstance, with the right person, it can for some people be an intense, white-hot turn-on; and as with much of BDSM play, it's helpful to think about it as playing a role.
Remember, this is something you do because it's something your partner wants. You can, during a BDSM scene, call your partner a dirty, filthy whore, and it doesn't mean that's really how you see her; you're in a role, and you're doing it because it's a turn-on. Outside of that role, you may think your lover is the most exquisite woman ever to walk the face of the earth; the things you do during a scene are not the whole of how you see her in your ordinary, day-to-day life!
And there's nothing wrong with enjoying erotic humiliation, if your partner enjoys it. It doesn't make you a bad person; it doesn't mean you want to degrade women; it means you take pleasure in creating an environment that's arousing and exciting.
This kind of play may seem silly, or awkward, or both, when you first start experimenting with it. You may find it's difficult to say and do things which humiliate your partner, and it might feel forced or contrived. That's a normal part of playing any unfamiliar role. This sort of play, like any skill, becomes easier and more natural with practice.
Don't worry about it becoming something that changes the way you think about women in the real world; like pain play, humiliation play is contextual both for your partner and for you. It's not going to suddenly make you into an insensitive clod. The difference in mindset between exploring humiliation play with a lover and actually believing that women deserve to be degraded is as great as the difference between playing a hit man in a movie and actually being a hit man.

But I still don't know what to do!

The best way to begin is to talk to your partner, and ask her what she might like to try. Here are some ideas to start with:
- If you want to explore bondage, the easiest way to do this is with plain old cotton or nylon rope. Nylon stockings and silk scarves can cause problems, because they tend to bunch and be difficult to untie. You can tie your partner to the bed, to a chair, or simply bind her hands behind her back. Once you have her bound, you can go in a number of different directions. For example, you can kneel over her and tell her to service you with her mouth, or you can penetrate her and have sex with her. Or, you might try sensation play, running your hands or ice cubes or soft cloth or things like that over her body. Blindfolding her can make these sensations more intense. You can add a little bit of light pain play to the mix by pinching, pulling, or twisting her nipples, running your fingernails over her skin, and thinngs like that. Biting her, teasing her with tongue or fingers, and that sort of thing can be a lot of fun too.
- For introductory pain play, spanking, pinching, and biting can be good ways to begin. You might bend her over your lap, or--for a bit more fun--tie her down bent over the bed. You can combine this with roleplaying if you like; perhaps she's a naughty student and you're the disciplining teacher, for example. You can spank her with your hands, a paddle, or even a wooden spoon. Start with light, rapid strokes, and gradually increase the force until you find her limit. Remember, if you start light and build up gradually, you can get those endorphins going, which is exciting and intoxicating!
- Humiliation play can be verbal, or can involve things you do to her, or things you order her to do, or some combination of all three. For example, you can order her to kneel in front of you and give you oral sex while you tell her she's a filthy slut, or you can order her to call herself a slut or beg for sex while you tease her with your fingers and tongue, or you can kneel over her as she lies on her back and tell her to stroke you in her hands until you ejaculate over her body.
- Give her instructions to do things that excite or arouse you. For example, if you enjoy watching her masturbate (and who doesn't?), tell her to touch herself while you watch. You can be as detailed as you want, instructing her how and where to touch herself, and how hard, and how fast, and in what way; you may even enjoy instructing her to moan and sigh as she does. Or, take a different approach. Take her out to dinner, but give her detailed instructions about what she is to wear. Have her wear something that makes her easily accessible--a skirt with no panties, for example. Throughout dinner, keep her aroused by dropping hints about how you can't wait to get her home, and how she's so sexy that you're planning to have your way with her; then, when you get home, bend her over, hoist up her skirt, and take her!
- Surprise her. Mix things up. If you're exploring dominance and submission, try calling her at work one day and telling her to remove her panties, or go into the restroom and touch herself. Or, send her a text message on her phone telling her that you have plans for her and you're going to tie her up when she gets home. If she's at home when you're at work, send her an email with a list of things to do to arouse herself so that she's in the proper state of mind when you get home. If you've been talking about trying something new, create a scene where you're doing something you've done before, then add it in! Or, buy a new toy without telling her, and introduce it into your scene.
- If you run out of ideas, try doing things you've done before, but in a new way or with a new element, or combined with other things you've done. If you enjoy watching her masturbate, try adding a blindfold and telling her to touch herself. Or, make her touch herself as she watches herself in a mirror. Or make her describe how she feels out loud as she masturbates. If you enjoy having her give you oral sex, try tying her hands behind her back and then having her kneel in front of you. The possibilities for combining even simple, basic ideas in novel ways are endless; by doing this, you can keep things new and exciting all the time.

Remember: You're doing this to have fun, to share yourself and your fantasies with your partner, to make your sexual lives more exciting and dynamic, and to increase your pleasure and your partner's pleasure. There's no right or wrong way to do it. Have fun! Experiment! Be creative! And above all, enjoy yourselves!

Wed Mar 27, 2013 xeromag

The Party Next Door

 By Rori, September 9, 2007

Ow.
Red wine and I don’t mix well. I mean, we do at the time, but the next day is always a killer. Looking at a computer screen right now is death, but I just had to tell you all what happened last night. It seems like so long ago already.
After hours of trying on different outfits (curtains closed), I finally settled on a classic – the little black dress. I slipped on my most basic black thong, fingers lingering on my things as I imagines the girl next door getting ready too. What would she be wearing underneath what I’m sure would be a stunning ensemble?
At 8:30, I could see guests beginning to arrive. Her bedroom curtains were firmly closed, the first time they had been that way in weeks. Not that it mattered. She would be in the foyer greeting guests, and he would be in the kitchen making cocktails. I better go get one, right?
The night was a whirlwind of meeting new, strange people, each couple more beautiful than the last. J* opened a bottle of red wine and filled my glass, mentioning that he had often meant to knock on my door to say hello, but had never had an occasion. I smiled. I nodded. I thought about the way his lips would feel against mine. He introduced me to his brother, who was fresh out of college and a few inches taller than even J*, who was a lean 6′3 at least.
And then the alcohol began to kick in. I sighed at the long line of people waiting and decided, due to the four or five drinks already filling my bladder, to sneak into the master suite. J* was still in the kitchen, and she was firmly planted on the patio, laughing gaily with a bunch of guest, mainly men. They’d never notice.
The master bedroom was still, dark, and empty. It was strange being on the inside after looking into it for so long. I set down my wineglass on the vanity and quietly creeped into master bathroom. It was elegant shade of white, beige, and tan, with little angel-shaped soaps and fluffy burgundy towels.
As I was washing my hands, the door flung open.
“Oh my god. Sorry!” It slammed shut again before I could see who it was and I stood poised at the sink, a deer in headlights, caught using the god and goddess’ personal toilet.
I opened the door again. It was J*’s brother. He was fabulously drunk and peeing in the garbage can. I cleared my throat and he looked over at me, surprised, as though he had already forgotten that I had been in the bathroom. He zipped up his pants and turned toward me.
“What are you doing peeing in that bathroom?” he said, playfully.
“What are you doing peeing in that garbage can?” I asked back, my hand on the doorknob.
And then he kissed me. Just like that. He was drunk, I was drunk, and he kissed me long and hard, his tongue tasting mine. His large hands ran down my body, settling on my hips and pulling me closer to him. I couldn’t even remember his name. and the smell of run ran heavy on his breath.
In a moment we were on the bed. He reached up my little black dress and I felt his hands traveling up my thighs, wanting…needing. Alcohol makes you *need* so badly, and he had drunk his share tonight. I pulled his shirt over his head, revealing the perfect, tanned six-pack that you can only get after many hot, sweaty hours in the gym and in the bedroom. I had drunk my share too.
Soon, our clothes lay crumbled on the floor. His mouth traveled down my neck and to my hard nipples, where he teased them with his wet tongue. I arched my back, moaning, and he reached down to spread my legs apart before using both hands to pin me to the bed.
“Are you a naughty girl?” he whispered into my ear, sucking on my earlobe.
Yes, yes, yes, I was a naughty girl. I knew that I disparately wanted him, this young, ripped in-law of the goddess herself. What I didn’t know is that the bedroom door was standing open…
 
Isn’t funny how easily a few glasses of wine can make you lose all inhibitions?
So let’s rewind and review a bit: there I was, at the party next door, on the girl next door’s bed, naked and pinned down by the brother of the guy next door. There’s one thing I knew, and that was that the brother was packing – I could already feel his swelling penis beneath his boxer-briefs. There’s one thing I didn’t know, and that was that the bedroom door wasn’t fully shut.
J*’s brother was a hunk. Not the kind of guy you could have an intellectual conversation with, but a real hunk. If I had any close girl friends, you bet I’d be calling them to brag. He’s that kind of guy- the shaggy hair falling into his deep, dark eyes, the tanned six pack, the large, soft hands already fumbling to unlatch my bra. His lips were full and kissing me all over as though he couldn’t get enough of the taste of the skin. As I lay back down on the bed, my nipples standing at attention to his wet tongue, I thought about all I had hoped for this party. The night was turning out so much better that I could have dreamed.
He had me pinned to the bed and was using the tip of his tongue to play with my nipples, enjoying watching me squirm. He released my arms, but I didn’t struggle to get away. I knew where he was going. In a moment, it was my legs he was pinning as he buried his tongue deep inside of me, stopping only to suck on my clit, which made me arch me back and gasp. I pulled on his hair, savoring every moment and knowing that my juices were flowing over his face, faster than he could lap them up.
Suddenly, he groaned, not able to wait any longer. I was like a toy in his strong grasp, as he flipped my onto all fours and yanked his underwear to the floor. In a moment he was in me and we were swaying in motion. It wasn’t making love or even having sex. No, this was a good, hard fuck.
And I’m not sure how long we would have gone like that. God knows I was already close to coming (although, granted, I had a head start). His powerful thrusts and moans told me that he would be ready soon too. And then, my eyes closed and my ass in the air, I heard it.
“dodo do do dodo do do dodo do do do…”
You know that tune I mean. The generic cell phone ring. Not mine. And, as I found out, not his either. I opened my eyes and looked in the direction of the sound to see about seven or eight people crowded around the open bedroom door, watching us.
“For God’s Sake, Don’t stop!” she said. The girl next door was holding up her camera phone, in what I’m guess was video recording mode.
J*’s brother was grinning sheepishly at the camera. He didn’t care. So, I had a decision to make Either scramble to grab my clothes and run to the bathroom or continue doing what I came here to do, in plain site of the party. My mind whirled, the tip of his hard, thick cock still deep inside of me while everyone waited to see what we would do next.
And in a split second I decided. I leaned back onto his penis, taking him inside balls deep and gasping. To some cheers and clapping, we continued to fuck, him railing me harder and harder with each thrust, building the most intense orgasms I had ever experienced. He grabbed my hips, fucking me fast and I couldn’t control my screaming as I came all over his throbbing cock. He came a minute later as I wrapped my lips around him. I swallowed every drop, looking into the camera as i gripped his ass to pull him close.
It was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my entire life. My little performance may not have won an Emmy, but I have been invited back for another small “get together” tomorrow night. And I can’t wait.

Prostitution Politics and Feminist Activism in Modern America- Sophonisba Breckinridge and the Morals Court in Prohibition-Era Chicago

—Sex Work Research

For researchers, students, activists and anyone interested in research on sex work and related topics, including human trafficking

By Sonia Dolinsek

September 14, 2013

 

Prostitution Politics and Feminist Activism in Modern America- Sophonisba Breckinridge and the Morals Court in Prohibition-Era Chicago

Jabour, Anya (2013): Prostitution Politics and Feminist Activism in Modern America- Sophonisba Breckinridge and the Morals Court in Prohibition-Era Chicago, Journal of Women’s History, Volume 25, Number 3, Fall 2013, pp. 141-164.
In 1930, Sophonisba Breckinridge, a feminist social work professor at the University of Chicago, initiated a campaign to reform the branch of Chicago’s Municipal Court system that dealt with prostitutes. A product of an international anti-prostitution movement, the Morals Court was considered a model reform at the time of its inception in 1913. Yet as scholars have observed, reformers’ efforts to abolish prostitution resulted in repressive policies that sanctioned state control and police harassment of sex workers. Although most studies note feminist critiques of prostitution policies on civil libertarian grounds, few have explored this phenomenon, particularly after 1920. Breckinridge’s crusade to secure civil rights for accused prostitutes in Prohibition-era Chicago offers a new perspective on the politics of prostitution, prompts a reexamination of American feminism after the achievement of suffrage, and sheds light on current debates about the international traffic in women.
Excerpt:
“Chicago’s Morals Court was the product of a major reform movement in early twentieth-century America in which a coalition of evangelicals, feminists, business leaders, and medical experts demanded immediate and unrelenting repression of prostitution. Nationwide, city-appointed vice commissions prompted raids on brothels and advocated new laws suppressing commercialized sex. At the federal level, the Mann Act of 1910 prohibited the international or interstate transportation of women for immoral purposes.¹⁴
The anti-prostitution movement was international in scope. Beginning in the 1870s, feminists, moralists, and civil libertarians on both sides of the Atlantic attacked the so-called “European plan” of regulated brothels and medical inspection of prostitutes. Decrying the sexual double standard, governmental sanction for commercialized sex, misguided public health policy, corruption in law enforcement, and infringements on women’s constitutional rights, self-styled “abolitionists” in Europe, Latin America, and the United States sought to abolish or prevent state-sponsored prostitution and eradicate both domestic prostitution and the international sex trade. Cooperation among denominational, national, and international groups resulted in international treaties to suppress sex trafficking in 1904 and 1910.¹

sane(ish)



I turn the music up, I got my records on
I shut the world outside until the lights come on
Maybe the streets alight, maybe the trees are gone
But I feel my heart start beating to my favorite song

 

Being Open About Being Open

 

Being Open About Being Open

This past weekend, Gin and I had the great experience of joining the rest of the podcasters from Life on the Swingset in San Francisco. We've always had a great time when we traveled to San Francisco...and this past weekend didn't disappoint.

The highlight for me was watching the Swingset crew do their first ever live podcast. It also happened to be the first time that they were all in the same room, having recorded scores of episodes virtually in the past. The chemistry didn't disappoint and they led a lively discussion about "progressive swinging" among an audience that largely identified as polyamorous. 

Ginger is such a rock star. I feel great compersion when she shares this with others as freely as it flows, without hesitation. She is happiest when serving others--emotionally in this case, but yes, sexually too. In the course of the discussion, Ginger challenged us to be true to who we are and to represent this freely to others. An audience member commented that a woman wearing a harness and sporting a dildo is not a common sight at a swinger party. To which Ginger replied, "Fuck them. Put your harness on and be proud. I do." 

In fact, she does. 

Tristan Taormino was in the audience and supported the importance of "progressive swinging" to improve the rights and protections that we share with all non-monogamous people. She also noted that the research shows many more swingers identify as being conservative in their politics. Again, Gin made a great point that she takes every opportunity she can to open the minds of our conservative friends--that we should engage them in the shared worldview of sexuality and find the "teaching moments" to challenge their politics in other areas. 

In fact, she does this often too. 

She does all of this and yet, she cannot be completely open about who she is. This kills her. Though in true Ginger fashion, no one would ever know it. The reality is that she does it to protect me. Like many, the risks of coming out are simply too great for our situation. It literally brought Ginger to tears during the OpenSF presentation.

Someday, baby. I promise.

101 “IDEAS” to make Your slave feel Owned (i.e. loved)

 

by slave nina

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One of the main factors for subs or slaves in feeling truly Owned, is to be constantly reminded throughout the day of their Master’s control. These reminders can be subtle or really obtrusive. The more often a slave is reminded of her submission, the deeper it becomes….and the more fulfilling. So here are some ideas You might want to try… And no matter what rules You decide to make Your own, please….be consistent. If You are unwilling to take the time to enforce the rules You make, then there may as well be no rules at all. There is nothing in the world that will make a slave feel less loved than to have a Master/Mistress who ignores her transgressions and does not exert Their Dominance.
1. Have her wear slave bells. The constant soft jingling of the bells is soothing and a certain reminder of her submission.
2. When she has broken a rule, talk to her as You punish….and make her speak in detail about why what she did was wrong.
3. Make her take her shoes off every day as soon as she enters Your house.
4. A beautiful, special collar will make any slave joyous. Take the time to select the right one, and have her wear it as often as possible.
5. Have her call You each day at a specified time, no excuses.
6. Give her anklets and tell her she must wear one of them every day, no excuses.
7. Whenever possible (i.e. no curious young-uns about), have her kneel before You and ask to accompany You upon the furniture.
8. Choose her hairstyle and go with her to get it cut to Your specifications.
9. Whenever possible (i.e. no curious young-uns about), have her display herself whenever You come into the room…..legs spread, shirt unbuttoned. No matter what position You take, she is to be sure Your view is unobstructed
10. When around the kids or vanilla friends/family, make sure she has an alternative title for You besides Master…..such as “my Love” etc.
11. Use her sexually in a rough, selfish way when You feel like it….interrupting whatever she was doing.
12. Chose a food that she dislikes and have her eat a small portion every day for a week.
13. Have her crawl to bed each night.
14. Bring her a stuffed animal each time You go out of town.
15. Choose her clothing each day.
16. Have her get Your daily wardrobe ready for You the night before….laid out, ironed etc.
17. After punishment, have her kiss Your boots and thank You for loving her enough to correct her.
18. Have her bring a warm towel and wash and massage Your feet each day after work.
19. Get her tattooed (Your choice of art and location).
20. Get her pierced (or preferably if You are trained, do it Yourself).
21. Get her branded.
22. Respect, but push her limits.
23. Ask her each night what she did that day that You would not have approved of. grin This gets her in the habit of being completely honest, and also makes her conscious of the things she could do better each day.
24. Teach her exactly how You want her to kneel, and demand perfection.
25. Reward her by allowing her to please You sexually.
26. Supervise her workout routine.
27. Each night she is to kneel next to the bed asking permission to sleep with her Master, and each night she does, she is to kneel by the bed in the morning and thank her Master for the privilege.
28. Have her polish Your boots weekly, on her knees at Your feet.
29. Negotiate until you are both comfortable with the terms and then sign a contract.
30. Giver her a writing assignment: “The definition of Pain – 1000 words”
31. Have her keep a diary of her journey into submission.
32. Instruct her that she may never get herself something to eat or drink in Your presence without first asking You if You want something.
33. Some evenings, keep her on a leash and take her with You no matter what You do….even if You do not speak to her or include her in Your activities.
34. When appropriate, she is to speak when spoken to.
35. Reward her by giving her delicious pleasure.
36. On occasion, share her.
37. When it suits You, instruct her not to make eye contact with You without Your command.
38. Have her keep her body clean shaven at all times.
39. Conduct random inspections of her body to make sure she keeps herself to Your specifications.
40. Make her wear a butt-plug under her clothes whenever she goes out alone.
41. For transgressions: have her write Your name on the bottom of her foot and tell her to remember she is walking on You with each step. (This is harder to do that You might think….)
42. Master the art of the meaningful piercing stare…..
43. Give her reading assignments.
44. Test her on the reading assignments, to make sure she learned the appropriate lessons from each.
45. Instruct her to keep her toenails painted perfectly everyday, and check to see that they are before bed
46. Make it her responsibility to put the toys away after play and punishment, and to keep them clean and neat.
47. Reward her by letting her name her favorite scene, toys, etc.
48. Call her Your slut, Your pet, etc.
49. Have her make a list of the 10 things that make her the most self-conscious, uncomfortable or embarrassed.
50. Work with her, having her do the things on the list (if possible), so that she conquers those fears and hesitations.
51. Sometimes, pamper her…..wash her body and hair, having her remain perfectly still as You turn her and move her about.
52. Hand feed her like a small child on occasion.
53. Have her eat from a dog bowl on occasion.
54. For transgressions: make her wear a sign to the next public function naming her crime. (ouch)
55. Praise her dedication when she has pleased You well.
56. Instruct her that she is never to touch Your body without permission.
57. Have her write a meditation about her submission, devotion and trust in You….to be said aloud each night before falling asleep.
58. Some days allow her no clothing whatsoever (when practical).
59. For transgressions: deny her play. No pain for you, bad girl….hehehe.
60. In the same ilk, For transgressions: deny her orgasm…..give her sex, but she can’t cum.
61. For transgressions: Command that she is to be silent for a week. She may not speak, and will take whatever pain or pleasure You give as silently as possible.
62. Treat her like a pet in front of friends, making her present herself, turn herself, etc.
63. Giver her a writing assignment: “The definition of Obedience – 1000 words”
64. Have her wear a toe ring.
65. Tell her one morning that she must cum for You 15 times that day, and then write about the day.
66. Have her wear nipple clamps under her clothing out to dinner.
67. On Your birthday, let her receive Your spankings.
68. Spend time training her how to move gracefully to please You.
69. For transgressions: stand her in the corner like a 3 year old.
70. Always flog her after completion of a task, even if it was satisfactory. A well flogged slave is a happy slave.
71. Speak about her as if she were not present.
72. For transgressions: deny her any D/s at all for a week…..letting her do just as she pleases, not allowing her to serve You in any way, no punishment, no instruction, no play, banning titles of respect, etc. This will shame her and certainly make her strive to please You when it is over and she is in her place again.
73. Defend her honor to those who would disrespect Your prized possession.
74. Pet her often.
75. Make her be webMistress for Your huge site, DallasBDSM. hehehehe
76. Whenever possible (i.e. no young-uns about), have her sleep in a cage.
77. Buy her sexy or slutty clothes to Your liking.
78. Teach her things….expand her knowledge…..in a patient Fatherly way.
79. When You are away, call her and have her masturbate for You.
80. If You choose to play with others, make sure Your slave knows who is first in Your heart…..and that some things are just for her.
81. Remember her birthday.
82. Lead her with a loving fist in her hair.
83. Wake her each morning with an assigned task for the day…..and make sure it is done by day’s end.
84. Teach her patience.
85. Videotape Your sessions and watch them together.
86. On long trips, have her wear double dildo latex underwear.
87. Hand feed her chocolate.
88. Have her place her regular wear shoes in a line by the front door. They should be in a straight line with the laces tucked inside, or the buckles buckled. Inspect them periodically.
89. Keep a list of her transgressions in a little book….let her slip for a while…thinking You are not noticing…..then one day, bring out the book and have a day of atonement.
90. Tickle her just because You can.
91. Have her be perfectly still and quiet while You bring her extreme pleasure…..when she moves or makes a sound punish her then return to the pleasure.
92. Keep her locked in her collar when You are home. You place it on her…..having her kneel. Wear the key to the lock around Your neck.
93. When possible, have her cook and serve Your dinner wearing nothing but an apron and collar.
94. Buy her a Polaroid camera and give her assignments to take pictures of herself for You in certain outfits or positions, etc.
95. Remember to kiss and caress away her tears.
96. Don’t be afraid to bring her to tears, for they are Yours as well.
97. Take her and the dog to the park, both on leashes.
98. Caress her, whisper into her ear that You love her, nibble on her belly, lick her thighs and make love to her until she cries.
99. Have her fall asleep with Your cock in her mouth and tell her You expect it to be there when You awake.
100. Occasionally, fulfill her fantasy.
101. Master’s word is the last word.
Addendum
102. Make sure that she is safe at all times….when with You and when You are apart (to the best of Your ability). Keep her vehicle in good working order, make sure she has emergency money and a cell phone to call for help if needed.
103. Be consistent.
104. Take the time to talk to her…..learn her fears, her dreams and fantasies. Use Your knowledge.
105. When You go out of town, forbid her to shave her sex. Shave her Yourself when You return.
106. Specify exactly how she will address You in private and in public.
107. If You are willing to correct her each time she forgets until it is a habit, have her refer to herself as “this slave” or “this girl” etc.

Sex and BDSM Play

Enhance Your Sex and BDSM Play with Rituals in the Bedroom

By lunaKM on July 29, 2013

Photo by Robynlou8 (CC BY 2.0) You are a bedroom submissive. You may only submit only in the bedroom, or on weekends or for only set time periods. So having rituals seems foreign to you, right? Maybe. They aren’t meant for you, right?
Wrong.
If you’ve ever thought that ritual and meditation was for full time submissives only or those in committed relationships then you haven’t broadened your thinking enough. It’s not just full time “lifestyle” submissives that can benefit from rituals, rules and protocols in their lives. Submissives that dabble in the bedroom only have a lot they can do to enhance their experience in play and sex with their partner.
As I’ve discussed before, rituals don’t have to be long drawn-out detailed processes. They are most powerful when they are short, simple and focused. So how can a ritual work for you and your part time submission?
Well, it can put you in the mood when you are having problems connecting to your submission for one. I have a playtime ritual myself because I have issues separating what we do for play with how he treats me the rest of the time. So, before play he places a play collar on me and when play is done, it comes off. This has grown to signify the start and end of play and helps me mentally transition from slave, to play slut and back to slave.
Some ideas for simple bedroom transition rituals:

• Kneeling before play
• Kissing the first tool/toy to be used
• Placing a collar only used for play
• Laying out the toys in a presentable manner
• Dressing for play
• Saying a mantra
• Playing a song you connect with

Of course, transition times aren’t the only moments when a ritual might be a nice addition. I know a couple submissives that have a methodical way to worship their partner’s body, that is so beautiful and focused. It joins them in more than the physical – it’s a connection of minds and souls.
In erotica, and also in real relationships it is possible to have to ask for another strike of something you normally don’t enjoy, or to have to count the strokes. This is also a form of ritual because it requires that you focus on one part of the action and it’s a simple way to keep you connected to the play.
Finally, I hope you can see that even if your D/s or BDSM relationship doesn’t leave the bedroom, you can add ritual to make it more focused, more pleasurable or more powerful for both of you.
What other ideas for rituals do you have for the casual player and the bedroom submissive?

Ligger på siden i en slags fosterstilling
Sammenkrøpet, uskyldig positur
Hånden din på hoftekammen
Hånden din på vei inn i meg
Sakte og forsiktig
Mer olje
Jeg klynker når hånden din er på sitt bredeste, over knokene.
Shhhhh, jenta mi. Bare puste rolig.
Lav stemme.
Kysser meg, stryker meg med den frie hånden.
Jeg legger innsatsen i å slappe av...ikke stramme en muskel.
Det sprenger. Det gjør vondt.
Det tar tid. Har tatt lang tid. Flere år.
Helt til kroppen min lukker seg rundt hånden din, tar deg i mot og omfavner håndleddet.

Jeg er lamslått. Jeg er overveldet.
Det føles så...totalt. Så blir jeg fylt av en slags glede, endelig klarte jeg det. Og ydmykhet. Over å være din.

Rommet er stille. Hånden din er stille inni meg. Du er stille. Tiden står litt stille. Jeg kjenner på følelsen. Det fysiske er blandet med så mye emosjon at det er vanskelig å skille hvilke esker å legge hva i.
Forsikringene dine kommer viskende i det jeg begynner å gråte, du vrikker så vidt på neven inni meg. Masserer alle punkt som er.
Flink jente. Stolt av deg.
Jeg kommer hulkende på den nesten ubevegelige hånden, jeg hører deg stønne langt borte av følelsen av skjedemuskulaturen som strammer seg rundt hånden din.
Du trekker hånden forsiktig ut når krampene har lagt seg og trekker meg, tårevåt og svett,  inn i armene.

Jeg er opprømt, høy og liten på en gang.
Du ser på meg, smiler, hører på og nikker. Trygg og rolig. 

Det er fascinerende hvordan alt det kinky, nasty og skumle blir vakkert når vi er sammen...Elsker deg!

(-gwendo- august -13)

hoppe sa gåsa, nei
binde sa reven !

så bandt han,
så gikk han
og borte var han så

og gåsa smilte
og tenkte

jeg hopper nå
litt for meg
selv likevel...

 

“You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.”
― Bob Marley

Sex and Chocolate

deep chocolate covered kisses in the bath
hungry heart and mouth ready to begin again
comfort food for the soul, sex and chocolate

writing love poems on your hot flushed skin
mouth warmed chocolate rolls upon the tongue
songs from my heart written on sandy shore

freed to dance, swept up in a primal tidal flow
deep chocolate covered kisses in the bath
I smile at you, lick you clean and beg for more

burning bright, I whisper and croon the words
sweet songs My heart wrote for your ear alone
hungry heart and mouth ready to begin again

deep chocolate covered kisses in the bath
freed to dance, swept up in a primal tidal flow
sex and chocolate, comfort food for the soul

 

W. I. Boucher December 2, 2002

Mark Me in Red

            

tied spread-eagle to our bed
bound with silken scarves
made hard by anticipation
you pounce with feline grace

my naked flesh a fresh canvas
for your lipstick covered lips
crazy patterns spin us wildly
mark me as yours forevermore

rings of red run up and down
each inch another encircles me
marking each gasp and moan
coaxed out by her hungry mouth

till no space is left bare or dry
my love will rock her head and sigh
upon that pillar raised so high
to make me spill my seed for her 

W. I. Boucher November 12, 2002

En fugl i et træ er aldrig bange for, at grenen knækker.

Troen og tilliden ligger nemlig ikke i grenens styrke… Den ligger i egne vinger.
Tro på dig selv – tro på det du gør.