Your guide to the best bondage sex toys & fetish gear

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Posted 11 September, 2015 by Cara Sutra  /  Leave a comment

When you begin shopping for bondage sex toys, the sheer amount of fetish accessories and variety of kinky restraints can be overwhelming and a little intimidating. You may not know where to begin, and might not even know what some of these strange but fascinating objects are used for. In this guide my aim is to remove any element of mystery from these often perceived as mysterious items – and help you welcome an exciting new dimension to your sex life.
Just where do you begin when it comes to bondage sex toys? Those of you who have read my recent article examining just what BDSM is will already understand how bondage and other kinks can not only spice up the sex life of couples in a relationship but also form a fun part of many other adults’ lives. Now that you know the basis of BDSM, it’s time to take a look at the accessories that can help maximise your enjoyment.

Restraints

Restraint is the core part of bondage, enjoyed by millions and with a million ways to indulge. Ok, perhaps that part is a slight exaggeration. Accessories specifically for bondage are many and varied though, with those stereotypical furry handcuffs merely the tip of a very kinky iceberg.
It may surprise you to learn that handcuffs, metal or covered in a fluffy material, are one of the least used restraints in BDSM and bondage which is more lifestyle than bedroom based. The rigidity of metal doesn’t lend itself to comfort and if you’re being restrained for quite some time then it’s important that the one being bound is comfortable and not in any non-consensual pain. Low quality metal handcuffs can also cause damage to the fragile nerve endings in the wrist is pressure is placed on them. Leather, neoprene or other durable, strong but flexible materials are much preferred when it comes to wrist and ankle cuffs. Cuffs can be fastened with a buckle fastening or velcro, and some connect together with a chain.
Wrist and ankle cuffs which all connect together to one central ring is known as a hog tie set.
Under bed bondage restraint sets are fantastic for discreet bondage pleasure in the bedroom, as the ends can be tucked under the mattress during the day and revealed for a nightly thrill. The weight of your body on the mattress keeps the restraint straps in place, with the cuffs to the ends of the straps being placed around wrists and ankles for a spread eagled tease. There are also over door straps and cuffs for more vertical encounters.
Other types of bondage restraints you may encounter are soft ties, which work similarly to wrist and ankle cuffs, but with the freedom to tie as you wish. Take care not to use them around the neck – only around wrists or ankles. The same precautions apply to bondage tape. There are also spreader bars with cuffs attached, arm binders, vacuum seal cubes and body bags, leather body bags, bondage mitts and good old fashioned rope from which Shibari (a type of artistic Japanese rope bondage) harnesses can be fashioned.

Collars

Collars are a traditional symbol of submission and as such have an important role to play in a kinky session of Dominance and submission. There are different types of BDSM collars available, from the standard buckle fastening, leather or leather feel type with front O or D ring (to which a leash can be clipped) to the wide posture collars designed to keep your submissive’s head upright at all times. Some collars are embellished with decorations or words; others are made from precious metals instead of fabric, such as gold or silver.

Punishment

Punishment is a powerful and fulfilling aspect of BDSM for many. Spanking via bare hand to bottom can be very satisfactory for both Dominant and submissive. However there are other punishment tools which you may choose to add to your arsenal to deliver a firmer or different stroke.
Floggers, whether with short, medium or long tails, can inflict punishment from a gentle tease to a lip biting sting. Because of this, they are wonderful for beginners. Spanking paddles are also suited to beginners as they feel like a natural progression from hand spanking, with strokes ranging from light to forceful as appropriate.
Other impact gear include whips which can be single tail such as bull whips or multi tail, vipers’ tongues, tawses and carpet beaters. For a noisy thwack you may wish to opt for the fear inspiring whistle of a riding crop, cane or ruler. There are also electronic zappers available which are designed to mimic the traditional cattle prod but with a safe and fast ‘sting’ to the flesh.

Sensory Play

Evoking the senses is one of the most interesting and interactive aspects of BDSM. As well as using your breath or fingertips on a bound or blindfolded submissive, there are many BDSM sensation tools which can help to induce different sensations and maximise the fulfilment you both take from a BDSM session.
Teasing and introductory tools you can use include a Wartenberg Wheel (also known as a pinwheel), massage candles and tickling feathers. Using erotic blindfolds or an eye mask during the session will help to ignite other senses beyond sight and anticipating your next move will keep your submissive on the edge of their seat – whether literally or figuratively.  Waxplay candles take things up another notch – with the wax providing a delicious sting to the skin upon contact. The wax in these specially made candles burns at a safe level to be used on the body, don’t be tempted to use regular household ones.
Mouth gags can be a great way to exert your control over your submissive. They take away their power of speech and in so doing help to encourage a more submissive mental attitude. The best known are ball gags, but there are other types such as bit gags, ring gags, open mouth gags, funnel gags, dental gags, spider gags and even dildo mouth gags. As your submissive can’t talk when they have a mouth gag in, be sure to offer another ‘safe out’ such as a button or bell to ring.
There are complete sensory deprivation hoods available which are fitted over the head and secured in position. They block out light and many include a mouth gag and block out sound too. Other face masks and hoods provide varying degrees of sensory deprivation.
Urethral sounding is a practice that many men enjoy. Urethral sounds are usually made from medically hygienic metal, and come in various widths. The rod is placed down the hole in the penis (urethra) providing stimulation and enjoyment. It’s a unique feeling and urethral sound fans often up the ante with electro sounds and combine with bondage.

Electro Sex

Speaking of electrified sex toys, there are electrosex kits which can be used safely for a type of sexual and physical stimulation you may not have considered previously. You will need a main kit to provide the electric power and currents, and there are accessories such as electrode pads, conductive gel, sterile wipes, probes, dildos and metal butt plugs to form a dramatic and intense experience for all involved. You can read a beginner’s guide to electrosex here.

Orgasm Control

As the human orgasm is an integral desire for the majority of adults, it’s understandable why the control of it (and in some cases its denial) is so alluring to many in the BDSM scene. Both men and women around the world enjoy a fetish known as chastity, which contrary to your possible thoughts right now isn’t exactly like the medieval practice of heavy, uncomfortable metal pants and possessive fathers. Leading male sex blogger Ruffled Sheets explains things beautifully in this beginner’s guide to male chastity play.
Chastity devices for women are usually made from leather or other strong fabric for comfort, although modern day metal styles can be found. Chastity cages for men are much more freely available, with styles ranging from durable plastic and plastic numbered lock tags to polished, gleaming steel locked with a sturdy padlock.

Strap On Sex

Although anal sex and the use of strap on harnesses isn’t exclusive to the BDSM scene, strap on play is still a huge fetish for many and especially for submissive men. A Dominant woman giving strap on anal stimulation to a submissive male is also known as pegging. It can form part of anal training, whether leading to taking larger and larger dildos and plugs (anal reaming) for the Dominant’s amusement or for more extreme fantasy fulfilment such as anal gaping.
Strap on harnesses are usually made from a flexible but strong material such as leather or nylon. A strap on compatible dildo is placed in the ring front centre, which is then used to penetrate the submissive. These dildos have a flared base which is positioned through the front central ring, holding it in place. There are other forms of strap on dildo attachment too, as well as this O ring method. The best known alternative is Doc Johnson’s Vac U Lock strap on sex range which attaches dildos to the compatible harnesses via a plug and vacuum seal.

Other Fetish Accessories

For those who have very specific fetishes and kink needs beyond simply bondage or the control exerted and felt through Dominance and submission, there are accessories to help make the fantasy a reality. For adult baby fetish there are nappies (diapers) and dummies (pacifiers), as well as a range of wigs which can also be used by those interested in sissification and being a domestic maid type submissive.
Cross dressing doesn’t have to end with wigs either, include some make up, petticoats, dresses and knickers into the toy box for added thrills. There are different roleplay costumes and adult fancy dress which can be enjoyed by both men and women and incorporated into a BDSM scene, such as schoolgirl, French maid, secretary, wench, plus many more.

Stay Safe

As well as the bell or buzzer given to a gagged submissive to provide a ‘safe out’ in place of the spoken safeword, you may wish to invest in some strong scissors to keep nearby when experimenting and indulging in rope bondage. This will enable a fast release in case of any emergency.
Something that you can’t buy is compassion and common sense. Be sure to only ‘play’ in the adult world of bondage and BDSM with those you know and trust. Consent is a must in all cases, and the respect of safewords and traffic lights is mandatory.
Now you know a little more about bondage sex toys and fetish gear, I hope you have fun shopping for ones you think will fit with your desires and imaginations ready to be put to some exciting uses with a lucky partner.